Creatures of the Night

Over the summer a neighborhood kitty with the most amazing blue eyes I've ever seen curled up under my bush outside and stayed there for days, clearly unhealthy. By the third day I tried to gather him up and take him to an animal hospital (since the neighbor he belongs to doesn't have enough sense to pour piss out of a boot), but the little kitty became very unhappy when I got too close to him. So I put out a small bowl of cat food and some water, hoping that might help a little. He disappeared for a week after that, then reappeared looking refreshed and quite healthy, I'm glad to say. He was also looking for more food. Devoted animal lover that I am - and cats are my favorite of all - I gladly put out a bowl of Kit & Kaboodle and some fresh water for the little guy. He wouldn't let me pet him, and he's not the friendliest feline I've ever met, but which each new bowl he grew more comfortable with me, eventually even rubbing against my leg while waiting. And then one evening around sundown I walked outside and found another kitty, this one much bigger, more nicely groomed and clearly well-fed, helping himself to some leftover Kaboodles. When he realized I wasn't a threat he became very affectionate, but clearly he didn't understand me when I told him that this food was for another cat. So I let the newcomer eat what he wanted, then made sure the bowl was filled for little Blue Eyes, whose overnight appearance was now like clockwork. Weeks passed, and I'd occasionally see the bigger cat around, but since he didn't come around every night I didn't mind. Then one day, a yellow Tabby from across the street was there eating from the bowl too. Not long after that a tiny little black kitten came by several times a day, ate a few pieces and scampered off. What can I say? I'm a sucker for these creatures. If they were hungry and wanted to eat, then so be it. And then one night I heard what I knew was some unusually loud chewing going on outside. I mean, really bizarre chewing. Chomping, crunchy chewing that would drown out popcorn kernels popping on the stove. Next morning, there was Kaboodle everywhere! It was a gigantic mess, and very unlike the eating habits of any of the cats I'd seen so far. But I didn't think that much of it until one night after dark when I heard it again. Grabbing a flashlight, I quietly slipped out the front door, curious to see which kitty was making obnoxious eating sounds like Aunt Phyllis at a buffet. And it wasn't a kitty at all. It was an opossum, making no effort towards table manners of any kind. Now, when you expect to see a cat and get an opossum instead, it's kinda scary. There's just something about those long, pointy snoots and skinny bare tail that will jolt a suburb dweller like me. I'm sure country folks wouldn't have given him a second glance, unless they just wanted an entrée before dinner. But it startled me. Once he became a regular nightly guest as well, I got used to him, but that first introduction was a little spooky, so I started going outside with a bit more caution after dark. Once last week, I peered out the kitchen window and saw the opossum and the Tabby actually taking turns eating from the bowl, although that didn't last long. The Tabby took off after the opossum made a move for a piece of food on the ground that was close to the Tabby's paw. But it was a sweet picture while it lasted. And then last night at around twelve-thirty, I was turning off the lights and getting ready for bed, cursing myself for sitting and watching 'Hostel' all the way through on cable. Bleeeccch. But there it was again - loud crunching. I couldn't help myself, so I flipped the blinds open and looked out. There was the opossum (whom I've since named Percy...no reason) and two brand new friends. Raccoon friends. Big raccoon friends. And it was one of the raccoons who was doing the crunching this time. The other one, for some reason, didn't eat any food. Poor Percy got too close to the one who was eating and got smacked right in his big ol' long snout for his trouble. Raccoons aren't as willing to share, I guess. So, simply for trying to help out a sick little blue-eyed cat, I've managed to draw the attention of three other felines, one opossum and two raccoons. I'm on the lookout for a moose next. And I'm spending a friggin' fortune on Kaboodle.